Fat Vagina Diet 🎶

Barbados days, Trinidad nights

We met at Justin Ram's and knew it was right

Most amazing people in the room, no doubt

Exchange numbers, that's what friends are about!

You moved to Barbados for just one year

My little boy loved James, followed him everywhere

Playing at the limes, running through the house

James and my son, quiet as a mouse

Two Candices, you called us both the same

Candice and Candice, simple name game

Now you're back in Trinidad where you belong

But I rack up air miles, fête all year long!

Every carnival season, you know where I'll be

Jumping up with Sophie, wild and free

White wine in hand, we're feeling nice

Sleek feline energy, rolling the dice

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

How we gonna fit the costume, Carolina?

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Is there a special diet we should find, yeah?

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Carnival problems, nothing could be finer!

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

That conversation lives forever in my mind-a!

Keep Sophie fed at all times, that's the rule

Warning label clear, don't be a fool

Her laugh and love of fun, I wish I had

Whatever version's needed, never sad

Can't suppress her laughter, even when she tries

That karaoke night, she couldn't hide her eyes

"OMG you're really the worst I've heard!"

"I understand why you didn't sing... not one word!"

"You should stop now!" she said out loud

Everyone looked away, avoiding the crowd

But that's my Sophie, honest and real

Says what she thinks, that's the deal!

Justin Ram's party where it all began

Knew we were amazing, had a master plan

From Barbados yard to Trinidad fête

Air miles stacking, no regrets yet!

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

How we gonna fit the costume, Carolina?

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Is there a special diet we should find, yeah?

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Carnival problems, nothing could be finer!

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

That conversation lives forever in my mind-a!

Wave your flag! (Fat vagina!)

Jump and wave! (Fat vagina!)

Carnival ready! (Fat vagina!)

No delay! (Fat vagina!)

She won't condone criminal activity, no way

Claiming the fifth on what we did that day

Sleek feline prowling through the night

Sophie's got that energy, burning bright

Thanks for being you, that's all I'll say

Forty years and still you light the way

From one Candice to another, we both know

Sophie's the reason that we glow!

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

How we gonna fit the costume, Carolina?

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Is there a special diet we should find, yeah?

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Carnival problems, nothing could be finer!

Fat vagina! Fat vagina!

Sophie, happy forty, you're a shiner!

Air miles racking up from Trinidad to Bim

Every fête season, I'll be jumping with him

White wine flowing, costumes tight

Sophie and Candice, carnival delight!

Fat vagina... (echo with horns)

Fat vagina... (guitar riff)

That's our story... (fade)

Carnival glory! (final horn blast and guitar)